Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Thank you, but no thanks

Remember when I was smart and he was dismissive?

This came on Sunday:
Hello Lola,

Not sure that you remember me, months having passed…We met for a drink one evening at the XYZ bar in late November/early December and I’m a very tall and (rather;-) ) mature Frenchman.

Saw glimpses of you on Alt, hope you have found interesting partners in all kinds of activities! Lol!

Just wanted to let you know I have set my strictly private “dungeon” up again, somewhere in the #eme, in a largish (85m²) flat. The place is great but it may be too much for you.

In case you are interested to hear more, let me know.


Well, I thought about it for a while. Sitting on the Seine, at the base of my new favorite tree, in the sun, I decided I wasn't interested. Sure, the lure of having access to local punishment, fun, and challenges is tantalizing and dreamy and makes me wet, but he was so impatient in addressing my concerns. He wanted a fast and shallow slave slut. Frankly, the path I'm on right now with Mr. FD is so much more exciting, filled with swoons, and turns me into a fountain of wetness. And, more importantly, the path is open to deeper meaning and activities that I've dreamed about for a long time.

I didn't want to write The French Dom off right away though. I wanted to mull it over, consider my options, and keep opportunities open. Yes, I'm falling for Mr. FD and what he offers and demands, but I still want a degree of autonomy and to live in a place where freedom reigns: if a healthy, happy offer arises, I should be free to take it right now. But The French Dom's offer couldn't even begin to meet where I'm at right now: I'm respected, pushed, challenged, immersed in genuine training, my concerns are met with validation and acknowledgment, my trust is recognized as integral and is "the ground of legitimacy which is my play league" (Mr. FD).

But, just in case I was missing something in the invitation, I forwarded it to Mr. FD for his insight. His comments were helpful and his compliments on my tuned awareness were flattering. Of course, it was still my prerogative whether to engage or not.

Here's the reply:


Thank you for contacting me again and for your offer to give me more information on the dungeon, should I have interest. I'm happy to hear that you've got a dungeon going again.

I'm actually already on a fruitful path of exploring what "too much" can mean, but wish you well in finding partners for all kinds of activities.



Hope it wasn't too snarky, but ... seriously! I was obviously not being respected before this email, or in this email. Sheesh.

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