I am an idiot

the Economist Beekeeper Sex God in SMS: ...reve en dormant...envie de toi...

me, asking the Swiss roommate what it means

her, replying it means he wants me

we, giggle

I, hesitate - but does it mean he wants me now? He wants me in general? He wanted me in the dream?

I send an SMS back: je ne comprend pas le francais guapo

Economist Beekeeper Sex God: ...ganas de ti...
[desire of you]

Swiss and I, wondering, analyzing what it means. She wants me to go to him. But "ganas" means longing, interest, I have "ganas" to eat that apple. But it doesn't mean I ask someone for it. Or, that I grab it. It means I'm interested in it. .....I am over-analyzing.

I send an SMS back: creo que deje un par de bragas alla
[I think I left a pair of underwear there]

Swiss and I are laughing our asses off and having another cigarette and another glass of wine.

Economist Beekeeper Sex God: ...mmmmhh...

Swiss and I wonder what it means. In English it means akin to meh or feh or could also be yummyeh. Swiss thinks the latter.

I send an SMS back (after debating for 15 minutes what witty reply to send): yes

Actually, the Swiss gave it to me. I feel like a moron. Like a 16-year-old moron. And, I'm behaving like one.

...nothing...
...silence...
...fuck...

...will pack for Italy...
...will grow up...
...will stop being a fucking idiot...






[interesting that I have a label called "moron" - will have to see my other moronic times]

Forced (Sex) Change

[Earlier in the broadcast.]


I hate morons today. Humanz are such morons. Maybe I'm completely anal retentive and think I'm better than everyone else. But it's true. I... am .... not.... a ..... moron. Really. I'm not. I'm too self-conscious to be one. I would never say "um" 50 times in a 5 minute speach. I would never write a strident letter to the CEOs of 5 corporations claiming I supported something that was actually incorrect science. I would never not BCC an email to my secret friend's email address and her parents. Because I'm not a moron.

But there are those among us.

I'd like to see the apocolypse of zombies versus morons. I'd like to see their heads fucking ripped off.



[After a cool down.]


I suppose it's all well and good. I was due for a change anyway. I'm no longer seeing James on a boyfriend/girlfriend basis. I helped win an election. I'm going to grad school. I'm getting the fuck out of this dumb town. I'm going to find a city where I can wear sexy clothes to a packed club and be fondled by nasty people. I'm going to find a dirty nasty kinky strong dom. I'm going to work for the United Nations and wear leather panties under my skirts. I'm going places. I'm going to write a book on a beach of south Spain. I'm going to own a flat on the 10th floor of a grey building on the edge of a park in Buenos Aires. I've saved a ton of cash. I'm going to start dating again. I'm going to learn to swallow all of his cock. I'm going to exchange unpleasantries online to anonymous people. I might even get myself arrested sometime. I can see the tiny buds of balls growing below my pussy. I'm going to re-swear allegiance to the devil. I'm going to get my way. I can not care and it's fine.


[Static!]



Fine. It was time for a change anyway. But fuck you, moron, for forcing it upon me. That's not acceptable. I don't care if it was an accident. I hope you die an unpleasant death by zombie. Fucker.



[Zombies.]



I have a clitoris. It's quite possibly 3-4" long. Deep inside my soul are a pair of steel balls. My pheremones are still "oozing sexuality" but I've come out of this sex change a new woman. If you find yourself into transexuals or translations or transparencies or transnationals or transcontinentals, please drop me a line and ask me on a date.