Wednesday, March 4, 2009

silly, but

I hope this is in reference to me:


category: Master and slaves

subject post by "snuggles":
if you scare Dominants how can you get one

Ok Masters and everyone inbetween

a slave girl we know real time arrived on Masters doorstep today saying she scares Doms away so how can she get a Master when they are all too soft and she can walk all over them.

she has been in a M/s relationship 3 years that ended last November and has now decided its time to be owned again, but hit the problem that because she is into Edge play the Doms run off so she came to my Masters house begging help, because need is killing her

So if you are a strong minded female who has lived 24/7 as a slave how do you move onwards when you had no limits because they were all removed..

reply by "RavenMuse":

It isn't an easy search. My girl got labled a brat because she would walk all over the people she was meeting.... then she met Me and found that when she tried pushing it got her exactly nowhere, like trying to push a brick wall. Which of course was exactly what, without really realising it, she'd been looking for. Someone who wouldn't cave in.

she is far from being a brat, she is a girl I am proud to Own and her behaviour is impecable. The only time there is any pushing from her now is if she feels insecure, but it still gets her nowhere.... which reasures her that the world is as it should be, the walls and structure that she draws strength and security from are as solid as ever... the pushing stops as soon as it started.

To move onward, your friend isn't just looking for a Dom, but someone strong enough to Master her. Wish her the best of luck.

reply by Mr. FD:

100% with RavenMuse.

Actually such profile as your friend's is not a rare one y far. Met many and I am currently in contact with one. she simply needs no space to wiggle at all (not an inch), no way out, direct closing and put back to order if trying little schemes (mosltly semi consciously), and full / clear directivity.

Such beahavior is usually a call for deep, deep control and general take over.

It is not that complicated to implement, provided one... can.

She should avoid bedroom kinksters, service doms, learning ones, etc. and look for somebody experienced (who knows what handling this represents), strict, fully self reliant and not in need of anything etc. You get the drift, I imagine.


Wilfried said...

"A Dom/Master/Top who wouldn't cave in"... When S/He should is the mark of absolute stupidity (= inexperience? Not always, unfortunately!) according to me.

Experience, intelligence, empathy are the keys (Some of them, at least).

So, we're back to square one: how can I find an experienced Dom/Master/Top... Test Her/His experience without being a brat?

lola said...

I think some of the responders were addressing a personality issue and not the part of the question wherein the sub likes edge play.

In the context of their replies they're not talking about (hard/soft) limits as pain, safewords, or freak outs -- when a dom/master/top should stop all play and deal with the issues of the moment.

It's more about bratty, pushy, testy behavior. As my previous post discusses, I've had a tendency toward aggressive behavior to get the other person to react. For example, wrestle with someone to inspire them to hold me down / overpower me. Or, poke fun and punch someone's arm or be bratty to instigate a reaction.

In this situation, what I need now is not someone to respond to my aggressive behavior by letting me have my way or by responding within the context I have created. It would be better for me now if someone refused to play my game and, instead, set rules of behavior that is allowed or not, discuss the outbursts I would have, and address them through order, etc....

Wilfried said...

OK but I, personnally, always hesitate between:

- Not caving in: let's NOT play your game.

- Caving in: let's play it, play it again and again and again and... So you'll get sick about it.

Nothing and "everything but nothing" are the same thing.

Yes, now I'm getting bratty ;))).

lola said...

Perfectly said from a switch point of view. ;)

Anonymous said...

What's most interesting to me about this is how competitive you are!