Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Day 12... whew...

To my sponsor:

Busy day, but got out in time and made the meeting. Mr. X was there, we re-introduced. He asked how I was doing (as did Mr. Y - from across the room) and how many days. I told him I was doing good, really good, and just waiting for the other shoe to drop. "well at least you'll be sober if it does," he said. :)

Listened to some good folks. We read from Living Sober about letting the ego go. I was thinking more about how I want to be selfish these days and how I am. I'm leaving work earlier than I used to, telling friends thanks but let's check in later, and living it as I can. Me. Me. Me time. I was actually sitting in the meeting and checking the bus times during the break, thinking that I would ditch early to make the bus instead of waiting 1/2 hour like the past 2 nights. But then I thought, what have I got to rush to? I'll just have more time to kill - granted, I can always find good ways to kill it (read, hang on the web, etc), but it would also free up time to consider drinking (not really a thought too much). So, I relaxed and listened and was present, and figured that 1/2 hour wouldn't kill me. When I got the bus stop I saw the 37 that is limited stop up Mass to WI. Wow! Not sure if that was Providence, but awesomeness. Bad traffic gave me more time to read the Drinking: A Love Story book, too.

Walked to Whole F for yogurt, walked past the booze and thought, wow, that's a lot of wine there. Got my yogurt, treated myself to some truffle cheese (so yum - try it if you haven't!! it's in season now!), walked past my old friend the liquor store, bought smokes (not smoking much ATM, but didn't want to stress it if I was craving), and came home. All chill. Chopped my garlic for the leftover pasta, was doing dishes and the pot with the garlic fell off the stove and a mess. But I was like, no worries --- I'm realizing a lot of my drinking was under the premise of letting go, losing control since I carry so much control all the time --- just let the water keep running, whatever, one hand in front of the other, clean it up, chop some more garlic and voila!

So, there's my check-in. Now, I'm scarfing dinner and will hit the sack in an hour. All good. All good.

Hope you had a marvelous day. See you tomorrow!


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