Thursday, December 21, 2006

Cellular stranger

It's cold and drizzly here today. I needed some fun.

Outside of my apartment, I walked across the street to drop another transcript to another school into the mail box. Walking back I spotted a cell on the ground. A dream come true for a curious kitty like me! I opened it and it was working. Saw there was a text message from Nikki "So did your Marine woman work you over yet?" Accidentally deleted it as I was fumbling through navigating a way to get this cell phone back to whomever had dropped it.

Phoned Nikki first, and she called me "ma'am" in the way that only people in the military call other women "ma'am." She apologized for the phone cutting out as they were out in the middle of nowhere in California. Said she didn't know the owner of the phone well and only talked to him every couple of months, his name is John Doe and she thought he worked at the ROTC at University of Wisconsin in Madison.

So, I looked in the "called history." Angelina at 12:20pm today. Called - no answer. So, I started down the list of contacts. Aunt Sally - no answer. Aunt Jane - no answer. Dad - no answer. I was in the middle of calling Sgt Smith when Angelina called back. She gave me John Doe's wife's number. Of course, you have to know how much fun I'm having, calling these people who think they'll hear John Doe's voice and instead they get me. I call John's wife, she's got grandma on the other line and a crying baby in the background. She takes my digits and address down.

A few minutes later John calls. I tell him I was walking back from the mailbox - yeah, that's where he was and he laughs, didn't even know he'd dropped the phone. I'm starting to put things together in my imagination. Bland wife, new baby, military guy, having trysts all over, texting random slutty military women named Nikki who were one-night stands but are now buddies and keepers of secrets. He works on campus and will be over in 10 minutes. He'll park in the same place across from the mailbox and he'll be in a blue SUV.

I watch the clock. At 7 minutes I go out to the foyer to wait. I'm radiating because I'm just that way - or, is it, as some have said "oozing sex." Tight, yellow long-sleeve over a tight white long-sleeve, slightly visible lacy pink & leopard print bra underneath, flattering jeans, brown boots. I think I see the SUV coming from the university area. He's definitely driving too fast because he wants his phone before something bad happens and we all have these panics when we lose things but don't even know it. He cuts off a car coming towards him and gets honked at in a steady, long honk that seems to last for 7 full seconds. He pulls into the curb. I walk out of the building into the chilly drizzle. There's something.. I'm sure it's just me making stuff up in my mind and in my body but I feel like it's a reunion or a blind date. He gets out of the car and I walk toward him, "Trevor?" I call out. "Yeaaaa," it sounds slightly embarrassed, slightly intrigued. He walks toward me and all I can see is his blond crew cut and his lips. I know I'm smiling and he leans in for a hug and I almost think we're going to kiss. He gives one of those mostly-chest hugs and we pull away, standing almost shoulder to shoulder as he looks at the mailbox, smiling. "Yeah, I stopped here to mail something and didn't even know I dropped it." I tell him I accidentally deleted a text message from a Nikki and he's cutting me off saying it's fine, it's okay, it's fine, thank you so much. I tell him I'm sorry but I called a few people in his contacts and in the last calls made and he's cutting me off saying it's fine, thank you. I say I'm sorry and I hope I haven't called anyone dead or enemies, like Aunt Sally and Aunt Jane. He's making hand motions like brushing it off no big deal. He seems so relieved in a way, and shocked, like his life flashed before his eyes in some frustrating but not deadly way. He says he works at the university - is a faculty there and trails off.. There's a short, awkward silence where we're both just smiling. He's looking out at the street and world and I'm looking at him. "Well, you have your phone now..." He snaps out of it, "Yeahhh.. Yeah.. Thanks so much." I turn and walk back hoping he's watching me.

I wonder if he'll call me sometime.

That whole 5 minutes was so fucking exciting. Of course, I'm kicking myself now for not dragging it out longer.

I'm a homewrecker pervert horndog.


a said...


And it ain't your fault when they stray.

Hex said...

You know he's still thinking about you.

Awesome story - it makes me want to lose my cell phone too ;)

lola said...

a, Yeah, I know it's not my fault. I'm a souless hedon who could care less about them straying really.

hex, I'm going to place an incognito ad in the local paper to see if he is still thinking about me. I'm so bad!!!! ....... I wonder how many friendships or lover-ships are started through lost cellys.