Slumber Party!

Remember how the bed in St Elmo's Fire seemed like it was the only thing in the whole room - smack in the middle of the room? Well, that's how I feel right now.

Got the boxes to my parents and realized that, after the 2.5 hour drive, that maybe just maybe this next month won't suck ass because they've calmed down and I've calmed down so maybe it will work. Got the boxes into storage. Got back to Madison to clean and found my remaining objects, whether the TV to be sold via Craigslist or the mattress to be sold via the same, or whether other furniture to be sold to the next tenant, it was all smack in the middle of the room under tarps so they could paint the walls around.

Ten hours of sweat and cleaning. Bending, squatting, scrubbing. It sounds sexy. It should be sexy. It is not sexy.

But it's very fun to sleep in the middle of the room and I'm looking forward to it.

For some reason I thought everything would remain unchanged when I got back and they'd just paint around in such a way. I thought maybe I'd find a lazy clean and then a maybe lazy jack off - despite the period. After all, when will I have the next chance -- my bedroom is next to my parents, there is no wireless so I can't even sit on my bed and type away. Nope, the next month is not about indulgence in feelings. It will be health, cutting down the spare tires (boxes), and letting in on secrets. My dad already leaked one to me that they finally (after 11 years) bought land to build their dream house (all solar panels and earth friendly --- the military dad turned hippie dude, I guess). I'm so fucking thankful that they're going to move from the house of high school memory horror! I guess, in turn, I shared a secret when a photo fell out of a box that my mother found and then promptly moved the box out of my father's view. I have yet to find out which one it is.. for some reason I keep thinking it's this one of pdh and hellboy, naked, at the end of my bed. A polaroid when I tried to get them to do me. Or something.. we were drunk.

Nothing is ever unchanged is it? The boys next door are moving. The paint inside my apt is drying. My sinuses are now stuffy. The clouds are moving overhead. Yeah, nothing stays the same or unchanged.

Rove. That's enough.

I hope some things change.

Well.. I am.. so maybe other things will.

I almost cried tonight. In the shower. I have loved this apartment. I have loved living here, it's true. I'm not running from something, I'm running to a new idea.