One little, two little

(written weeks ago, 9/19/08, 8:56pm)

indian boys...

I will be getting dressed up soon for a goth/punk party in some club down by Les Halles. Les Halles is where all the kids hang out. It's like a gigantic, ugly, concrete buried underground Mall of America. I hate that area. But I guess there is some club there and my friends have invited me and I'm sure it will be fun.

Thing is, I'm running on Low. Shame on me.

I had a late afternoon drink with the Butcher two days after I got back into town. Saturday, specifically. And, then, I proceeded to drink almost an entire bottle of wine back at my place while finally deciding to place another Craigslist ad. On Sunday afternoon I had started narrowing down and sending emails. I am certainly not reducing men to just sexual objects, although that is one aspect I am looking for. But I can't keep having an Economist Beekeeper Sex God who didn't initiate kissing or cuddling or caressing. When he sometimes joked with me or wanted to make a point, he'd pat me on my back almost as if I were a buddy on his baseball team. I am infatuated with him still (which is entiche - je suis entichée de lui), but I need more well-rounded lovers.

Monday, I grabbed drinks with the filmmaker. At 30, I wasn't sure if he'd cut it, but we had a great conversation and I could imagine fucking him, but for some reason I wasn't quite in the mood. PMS was stalking me. But he grabbed me by the entrance to the metro (he came up to my 'hood - very nice of him) and made me kiss him and I swooned for his lips. He's got a James Dean quality to his hair, and a Jack Kerouac quality to his face, and he's all wrapped up in English accent and good whiskey and black and white documentaries. We made a date for Tuesday night.

My ad this time:
Title: (casual encounters) Friend with benefits - w4m
Seeking someone with the mind of Charles Bukowski or Henry Miller, but with a gentlemanly attitude to open doors. My info doesn't fit on a matchbook, but I'm not demanding. I lean toward bondage and domination (receiving) but am not about whipz and chainz. Sometimes hours of conversation or simply chemistry. Intelligent but not haughty. Naughty but not whorish. Home on a Saturday night writing a book, not homeless. Shy but confident. Speak a bit of French, some Spanish, and a lot of English. I also know the alphabet in sign language.

Who are you? (a photo included in response is welcome and more apt to receive reply than not.)

Thanks for reading this far.

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The Filmmaker's first reply:
Subject: Squeezing a world into a matchbook
I'm sure you have a hundred and fifty replies, but here's one more for you to read if the rest seem lacking...

Miller, yes, Bukowski, I don't know so well, except for a poem a friend once wrote on the back of an envelope for me, kept me sane at a little low... I liked your post, the important distinctions and the fine lines... I'm English, French, speak a little Russian, but not so much Spanish, I'd put myself on the same side of those fine lines as you, I'm a filmmaker, mostly documentary, a little fiction, a little writing but wish I could express myself better with words, I'm 30, I take a lot of photos, but promised myself never to sully that pleasure by trying to make a career out of it,

I'd love to meet up, have a coffee or a whiskey, with no expectation on either side, but with a curiosity and just a little bit of anticipation on both...

-Filmmaker

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Yes, re-reading his email it wasn't that it was so amazing that it swept me off my feet, but it was one of the first and he used the word "sully." Not easy to pass up and the ensuing conversation improved ten-fold.

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Subject: (same)
In the morning she was Lo...

You look delicious. Where are those hills in the background? Cinqueterre... (Italy?) And is that a small man cowering under the sink in the black dress photo?

I'm actually up around pigalle this evening - meeting up with an editor friend to do a little work. I don't know if you're free, but I'll be done around 8/8.30. If not this evening, let me know when you have time later in the week.

My number is 123456789

Looking forward to meeting you, hearing what you're writing about and trying to persuade you of the virtues of a cup of tea.

-Filmmaker

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I'm always taken by the people who can correlate the "Lola" to the icon "Lolita." Sure, it's not too hard to make the connection, but I'm more impressed when a person can. And what girl can pass up "You look delicious"?

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As I told Sarah over wine and cheese and cigarettes, I can't be monogamous because there are so many sides of myself that I find it easier to date a few people who mirror an aspect here or there. I'm not sure what the Filmmaker fulfills but there is the obvious: art, whiskey, good conversation, good sex,