A life less ordinary

Southern France and Barcelona were incredible. Great times with great friends.

I'm now in homestay with Mr FD in a cloudy, rainy Switzerland. Day 3 and it's been a mix of sorts: highs and slightly less highs. We're figuring out our relationship, ourselves, and our places in things. I'm PMS'd and as you all know, I typically ride out the PMS alone, away from interaction with the humanz, but this has been a relief of a different kind to be here with him riding this state. I'll write more on details later, but today is a deeper day into domination/submission lifestyle. My friends in France joked that I'm living the housewife tale in Cocorosie's ironic "By Your Side" (video live).

I'll always be by your side
Even when you're down and out
I'll always be by your side
Even when you're down and out
I just wanted to be your housewife
All I wanted was to be your housewife
I'll iron your clothes
I'll shine your shoes
I'll make your bed
And cook your food
I'll never cheat
I'll be the best girl you'll ever meet
And for a diamond ring
I'll do these kinds of things
I'll scrub your floor
Never be a bore
I'll tuck you in
I do not snore
I'd wear your black eyes
Bake you apple pies
I don't ask why
And i trys not to crys
I'll always be by your side
Even when you're down and out
I'll always be by your side
Even when you're down and out
And its nearly midnight
And all i want with my life
Is to be a housewife
Is to be a housewife
'Cause it's nearly midnight
And all i want with my life
Is to die a housewife
Is to die a housewife

...more later....

Nada but Crap

Nothing at all interesting is happening.

Christmas Eve, I slaved and made 2 apple pies (which I keep automatically typing applie pies) and 2 vegetarian stuffings (which I am still eating since there were only 7 of us, and not 15 like I had dreamed). Great dinner with new and old friends. Lots of drinking and one embarrassing fart at 3am. I'm trying not to remember it.

I have left my apartment, since Friday 19th, a total of 3 times. Once to see the Italian. Once for Xmas dinner. Once for my friend's birthday out on the town. The rest of the time I've forced myself to at least take a walk around the block or do grocery shopping. I'm turning into Jabba the Hut. But seriously (which I've learned is spelled "srsly" in the www), my staycation (which I've learned is vacation-at-home) has been editing and uploading photos, acquiring new music (mostly from emusic.com, such as Pas Chic Chic, BBC Music Magazine Sampler, The Walkmen, Rodriguez, Bonobo, Heart, Ida Maria, The Pretenders, Pawel Osmolski, Black Mountain, Flying Lotus, The Cinematic Orchestra, Santogold, The Beatles, Lou Reed, Mr. Scruff, Kanye West, Télépopmusik, etc), watching movies (Contact, Virgin Suicides, American Beauty, Y Tu Mama Tambien - in Spanish without subtitles, There Will Be Blood), and then realizing that I have five papers due at the end of January, which should all be written now. So, I pushed one out over Saturday and Sunday and started on another today. I think my ass is taking on the form of the crap chair I sit in.

Friends have called to go out and I've been recluse and bored. A bit of depression for my manic. Yes, the internet has been my world of late. Rather pathetic, and really not a good use of time. I should be job hunting and networking and researching. Not goofing off and Tumblring and Facebooking. Sigh. The internet is my enemy.

In preparation for the new year and my annual superstition that I need to be doing something positive at midnight, I'm going to take a nice, long walk tomorrow in no direction whatsoever. Then, I'll work at least several hours on the current paper. I'm eating a fresh salad and will allow one jack off. And I'd like to drink a nice Pinot Noir if the $ to E hasn't hit 1.50

And you? Got any plans of preparation for your new year? No, no, don't tell me. I don't need more distractions... Ok, well, email them to me instead. My naughty lola inbox has been very, very quiet since all the boys left town.

I blushed

As an aside, I need to clean up the links on the right. Some I don't read anymore. Some are out-dated. Some are lame or gone.

Anyway.

I went to the Gotan Project show on Monday night and it was fan-fucking-tastic. Took Tall Tom with me. Probably annoyed the old French lady next to me as I was dancing in my seat the whole time. You know, that toe-tapping and upper-body dance that one does while forced to keep the ass in seat. She was all like "Oui!" when they asked if we wanted more tango dancing. I was all whistling and clapping and rapping to the more dance songs. It made me miss the Beekeeper so much. When I sent him photos from the show he wrote back how wonderful and that he remembered our Gotan-sexo. Yes. To me he is glory. Me to him is sexo. It's completely expected and real.

After, Tall Tom and I went to dinner at a cozy little place and I caught a taxi home. He SMS'd me after I got home that I should go to his place for sex. Instead, we made a rendezvous for Tuesday night. Over dinner, in another very hip place at Parmentier, after the bottle of wine was almost gone, he commented on me faking orgasms.

I like Tall Tom enough. He's funny, too young for me, totally filthy rich from two years working for an evil financial consultancy (as I can tell), a great storyteller, has crazy piercing eyes, and is great in the sack. But that doesn't mean I'll tell him my deepest secrets. One being, that I really don't orgasm.

I know a few lovers from Christmas past read this blog. And they know what I mean. I cum with some and not with others.

But what I immediately thought, as I turned beet red and tried to feign falseness, is that I never orgasm. I'm not sure why I thought that because later today I pondered on it and realized that I do - but with certain people and at certain times. And that I've developed a habit of the way I fake it such that I'm not really faking it but I am. This sounds horrible.

If anyone really wanted to know, I'd certainly show them the true-cumming-of-Lola. But yes, it has nothing to do with being with another person. ... In fact, later Tall Tom commented that I have intimacy issues. Good lord. He's too young to even know what he's talking about, and if I do, it's really the last thing he should be interested in. We are part-time lovers. We are not psychoanalyst daters.

I did blush though, over wine and being called out. I had no idea what to say because he hasn't earned any brownie points for my secrets. So, I lied. Which I rarely do. Very rarely. Because the truth is always more interesting than lies - especially if it's a hard truth. And the lie was horrible and I know he knew and I know he knew I knew.

Later, he took me back to his place - his new place - on the almost-top floor of a fabulous building in the 20th over-looking a reservoir with too much space for one boy. He wants people to like him - and he's throwing a fun party in January to assure that we all do. Halloween fun party wasn't enough. He's buying an ice sculpture for this one. He plugged in the lights and showed me how they look like water but with colors. And when he ran off to look at other places for the lights, I fell asleep on the couch. And I was impenetrable after that. Granted, Adam has been replaced by period Cecilia. So, he pushed me to bed - in an infantile way - and I slept all night and longer into the day than him.

It was a strange evening and day. He likes me. And I find this odd.

Hesitation Frozen

I'm having hesitation problems.

All dressed up and nowhere to go. To go to the dumb 80's Cock Rock Extravaganza at the local club or stay in my sexys at home.

To go to school in London or stay at home.

Whiney lil dilemmas that seem to plague me.

All of a sudden ... literally just this minute... I could hear Hex of Sleep Dirt saying.. Good lord woman, Cock Rock?!? GO!!!!!

Okay okay...

So, if you have a Good Lord Woman for London or Chicago or Pittsburgh or New York, please do pass it along. Especially if it's London because I booked a ticket to go to their open tour day at UCL end of April to early May and I need accommodations. Yeah. Really. Apr 28 - May 3. Booked.

Oh, and I started an analysis of my tour of Univ of Chicago but didn't finish it. After all, I'm "spring break" -- ha. Back to Stats exam studying tomorrow. For now, to fulfill Hex's scolding.

In love....

I know I'm behind the trends a lot. For instance, why download some program to switch my wmas to mp3s when there's itunes? Well... 'cuz I'm slow and I hate the general trends.

But this.. this I love : pandora

As they say it:
Ever since we started the Music Genome Project, our friends would ask:

Can you help me discover more music that I'll like?

Those questions often evolved into great conversations. Each friend told us their favorite artists and songs, explored the music we suggested, gave us feedback, and we in turn made new suggestions. Everybody started joking that we were now their personal DJs.

We created Pandora so that we can have that same kind of conversation with you.


.............

I am digging on my conversation with Pandora.

Because music rocks

I am in total love with mash-ups. DJ Nick Nice has created a set of fucking rockin' mash-ups found here. [NWS]

Selected highlights:
Dj Riko (AC/DC vs Smokey Robinson) For Those About To Clown
Go Home Productions (Madonna vs Sex Pistols)-Ray of Gob
Apollo Zero (Nelly Furtado vs Vanilla Ice & Janet Jackson)-Nasty Promiscuous Baby
Dj Moule (Jamiroquai vs Jimi Hendrix vs Red Hot Chili Peppers)-Jami-Hendrix-Peppers
Notorious B.I.G. vs Frank Sinatra-Come On My Way Of Life
Philmann (Electric Six vs The Muppets)-Gay Muppet Bar

It downloads as one full mp3.


Also, my reliable lil' Creative Zen Micro from '94 finally gave out. The headphones jack broke loose somehow so I had to pinch and push it in one direction just to hear in both ear phones. Lame for walking to/from work and spinning at the gym. I'm really not good at change in these regards. If I like something and I get used to it and I'm comfortable, who wants to be forced to change? Yes, humans are the most adaptable species.

I bought a Creative Zen V Plus the other day and the thing is fucking tiny. It's like I just paid almost 2 benjamins for a Tic Tack box! My main motivation for this over an ipod was just an anti-ipod feeling and I really did have a good experience with my Micro. Sure, I cut a GB off when I bought this, but it's also encouraged me to switch my WMAs over to MP3s so I get more room and can make longer mixed CDs for friends. I tried using Microsoft's Office Plus! Audio Converter [built-in to my XP], but I kept getting errors on some codec that I needed. I found NCH Swift Sound converter ware. I'm sure it'll time-out on me in a few weeks or something, but it's a nice immediate solution.

I'm still adjusting to the V Plus. It's super small and lightweight [the Micro came with a removable, rechargeable battery, V Plus does not] which makes we worry every time I put it in my pocket that I'll drop it or it'll slip out somewhere and I won't notice. I'm also not fond of the "joystick" feature [literally, a very very very tiny nubbin joystick which you push rt/lft to skip songs etc] and I'm afraid I'll break it or wear it out. The sound quality is great and I love that I could actually watch videos on it -- that is, if I had any videos other than porn. I didn't really use the FM option much in the Micro and am not keen on it in this guy - our FM in Madison is so limited what's the point? Mainly, I'm just interested in the gadget as a walkman - get me to/from work and pumping in the gym. Which is another concern. The industry is makin' some big bucks off of us chumpies. Toss in an additional 30$ for the armband that I'll need for working out. I did buy an ipod armband & skin [super tall, narrow] for the Micro and she almost swam in it, but still was snug. This V Plus fills like only 1/3 of the armband skin. Rape me. Please. Take my money.

It's economics, darlings. My music and having access to tunes is worth the 2 benjis. I got a national/int'l warranty extended coverage, just in case, too. Yup, insuring something the size of a toothfloss box. Lordy.

So, if you've got some good tunes for me, float 'em over. If you've got a whole CD or entire folders you wanna share [ahem, legally of course], get yourself an AllPeers account and add me: lola07. A pal turned me on to this - so far seems like it's more secure with personal info and IMs can be encrypted. Or, you can also get a free account at YouSendIt which essentially offers more MB to send/receive for your inbox than Yahoo, Gmail, etc. [File sharing transfer delivery] Roger Traveller used this to pass along huge files of blow job porn a while back.

That's the tech and music update from me.

Everybody knows

Everybody knows that the boat is leaking
Everybody knows that the captain lied
Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died



And that's all I'll say about the SOTU.

Although I did particularly like the part when he said that medical decisions should be made between a patient and a doctor - not insurance companies. Too bad he couldn't have tossed on there "not insurance companies, or governments, or activist Attorney Generals, or the handful of crazy religious wingnuts." That's the speech I would have written. F'n losers.

Did anyone notice that the only time that Bush and Cheney drank any water was at the exact same time? I mean, hello... puppets!!!! And, what the hell was up with Pelosi? Get that woman a drink of water. She kept licking her collagenated lips like she had leftover lollipop on them. Maybe that was the situation - she thought she was going to starve up there so they coated her lips with sugar to keep her awake. Um, and hello mister cameraman, not a flattering view of McCain while he was looking down to read something -- or, was he really asleep? And, good lord, does the Prez really alienate that many legislators that the only time they can get his autograph is while he's exiting the building? It's not a fucking Ticketmaster show and he's not Justin Timberlake, you nut cases.

Yes, yes, I did listen to what he said. I wasn't just playing Inside Hollywood or something. And, I agree with the reporters, it was somber and sober. But it was a bunch of hooey all dressed up in grown-up clothes, too. The average American will wonder why Pelosi didn't stand up more and won't necessarily get the significance of some of his "plans" or that he's requesting to remove earmarks after his fucking party accepted and encouraged and made it law of the land to slide slippery policy into fucking everything they could. And, I wonder if the average Joe/Jane will get the fact that he wants to allow government to only give doles to the elderly, the handicapped, and the poor snowflake babies -- and not to the middle class or the recently laid-off blue collars or the struggling single mom or the non-traditional, older student trying to work and pay her tuition. And do you think that the average American will understand that the guy who's gonna see to it that doctor's don't get sued for such silly and outrageous offenses as medical malpractice is Michael Leavitt who won't fire a guy who believes that birth control is bad and supports bullying and threatening pregnant women into continuing their pregnancies instead of opting for abortion.

Yeah, I don't have much faith in the average population. Yes, yes, they did make a statement when they voted for Democrats [or rather, voted anti-Iraq war]. But will they understand the politics of the SOTU tonight? Will they still call for an end to the war? Will they see through his b.s.? Will they - will we still call for impeachment?

And, that's all I'm going to say about the SOTU.



Anyway..

I took a break physically last week from men. The only man I saw was my ass doctor who didn't even touch me. It was purely a consult to discuss having the "tag" of skin [aka the tail of the devil] removed from my bumstar. We had to have an official consult so my insurance would refer me and cover the cost of my future surgery. Yee-haw! Surgery! Fun! Buckets and buckets. I have no idea how this is going to go down at all. [I'd tell you a funny story about James and surgery, but I don't have his permission to share. Anyway, he'd prolly tell it best.] All I know is that this will require a cut and, I imagine, some stitches near my bumstar. I will be purchasing shares of the Luv's corporation - specifically requesting a ton of my investment in baby wipes. The hospital has sufficiently tried to scare the beegeezus out of me with a packet of info containing a form for power of attorney, pages of instructions about what not to eat or drink before the surgery, and has me second-guessing my decision already.

School's going well. Crazy cat lady econ professor is indeed crazy cat lady. I'm remembering all her stories about the snowplow her husband bought, the cat she spent $1000 on, and the mini-storage rental business she owns, but I'm not understanding the correlations to economics. And I think her lectures confuse me more than just reading the book, which btw has nice photos and colors and bigger sized font and good examples and fun stories. I do feel slightly like they're telling me I'm either a retard or a 9th grader, but it's a nice, slow re-introduction into school. Stats isn't going any better - not that either are going poorly, it's just .. average, I guess. There are some things I'm experiencing that I remember from back in the day. The immediate camaraderie you can build with a classmate if you just introduce yourself and share a bit. All of a sudden I have a study partner or two! I'm being a very good student and reading all the material - and more! - than required. I'm grasping it all pretty well, too. And it seems perfect that the econ goes with the stats as I'm learning them. Correlation but not causation. Etc...

Applying's going well. The London School of Economics turned me down but that was expected as it was a long-shot. You're the first to hear this news. Please don't tell everyone, especially not my recommenders or family. I'm not ready to tell the disappointments. .... I've only got Hertie[Berlin], Leiden [NL], and Sciences Po [Paris] left to go. The grand total will be 12. Geezus if I don't get accepted by one of them!

Anyway... this is a good week. Men on the horizon. I'll catch up with schoolwork. Work-work's not too demanding yet. Next week I get to attend the State of the State and the reception at the Governor's mansion. It's also my mum's 60th birthday and my dad's 64th. I can't imagine a world without them and I can only hope that they'll be around for forever - even though I know that's not possible. And, what kind of gift says that? Got any suggestions?

Oh, and I posted an entry below that was free-flow following a playdate with SirMax. Enjoy!


And total PS. I haven't really been following them all that much, but I just spotted The Shins on Dave Letterman [I guess they were on SNL recently?!?]. If you click the link [to YouTube] or you know them at all.. Dave Hernandez, the back-up vocals and guitarist, you know, the hottest one of them all - well, he was in a band out of Albuquerque called Scared of Chaka. SoC played our basement back in the punk rock days. And, as drunk young girls are, my gal pal and I almost flipped a coin to see which boy we got: Dave or Dameon [the bassist of SoC]. But, we both kind of leaned toward one of the boys - she got Dave and I got Dameon. And... she got nuthin' that night and I got Dameon. .......... All my Minneapolis boys makin' it big now. Sigh. I loved that time in life.